Ninja, Please! review (iPod/iPhone)

April 1, 2011

“Damn I wish I could be a ninja, ninja”

10 word description: Protect innocent civilians while killing a bunch of evil ninjas. 

It really does look like a fake game, but it isn't. I shot that ninja several times and then insulted him. Trust me, it's real.

10 word review: Strange, fake-looking shooting gallery with guns, magic, insults and ninjas.

Ninjas can be defeated (apparently) by insulting them. I know, I know. Don't ask me, I only work here.

The deep and challenging turn-based reverse-psychology portion of the game.

You will like this if you enjoy: Shooting gallery games; ninjas; insults; the slightly unpolished feel of a deliberately bizarre game.

Ok, so I can't afford it ... but how much does it cost? The omissions and inconsistencies merely add to the game's slightly insane charm.

The good news: It’s not a fake April Fool joke game.   

The bad news:  It’s not a fake April Fool joke game.

That street is full of frickin' ninjas. You just can't see them because they're masters of obfuscation.

Arcadelife verdict: Here’s what to do: Go and buy this game. Turn the sound on your device up quite loud. Listen to the fabulous music for a few moments…. Scroll the menu to New Game. Gaze in infantile wonder at the strange and impossible world of Ninja, Please!

I’ll take all the flak and fist-waving anger from dissatisfied customers; it will be worth it. There’s a lot that could be fixed in this game, but that honestly isn’t the point. It doesn’t matter that it says “Magic” when you buy “Health” points and I found it genuinely amusing that trying to resume a game where you had died caused it to crash. These are not huge issues. The huge issue, I fear, is that the world might not be ready for something quite this silly. And that’s a sad indictment of the world, not of Ninja, Please! 

Arcadelife rating: 69/69

The version of this game that Arcadelife reviewed is 1.0

iTunes link

Infinite Taco website link

Arcadelife played and reviewed this game on:
4th gen iPod Touch (OS 4.3.1)

One comment

  1. lol @ “A crowning achievement for mankind” – Bono.
    This game looks funny 🙂

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