Platform Hell Pro review (iPod/iPhone)

♫ “Hell ain’t no bad place to be,
You know that hell, ain’t no bad place to be”

10 word description: Retro style platformer. Single screen challenges. Collect diamonds, avoid enemies.

Aiieee! My eyes! - Graphically subtle, it is not.

10 word review: Deliberately garish presentation brightens up a relentlessly tough retro challenge.

Anything that looks this simple just has to be incredibly difficult. Has to be.

You will like this if you enjoy: Retro platform games – more Manic Miner than Super Mario.

All it needs are a few bouncing toilets and giant telephones...

The good news: Hardly anyone is going to be disappointed with this game because retro platform fans pretty much know what they’re going to get.

The bad news: Jumping sometimes feels a bit floaty (best word I can come up with) and it is often hard (deliberately) to make essential jumps between some platforms. Depending on what you’re expecting, this may not be bad news at all.

I love the "amateur home movie" screen transitions.

Arcadelife verdict: The clue is in the title of the game. This is a platform game for people who want to have their gaming prowess broken and humiliated. I’m still trying to get better than a bronze star on level 1. On most I wouldn’t mind any kind of star to replace the 99.99 best time… Maybe I’m just not as good at platform games as I thought I was.

You might as well smash yourself in the eyes with a kaleidoscope.

Retro platform fans will almost certainly appreciate the single-screen, limited lives, impossible time-limit, pink & turquoise kick-in-the-nuts nightmare on offer here. Anyone not too sure might want to try the free version first.

Arcadelife rating: 80/100

Version reviewed by Arcadelife is 1.0.1

XS720 website link

Arcadelife played and reviewed this game on:
4th gen iPod Touch (OS 4.3.2)