Dizzy – Prince of the Yolkfolk review (iPod/iPhone)

♫ “Everything you are, falls from the sky like a star”

10 word description: 2D retro adventure. Collect-&-solve puzzles. Egg shaped hero.

Fire bad, tree pretty

10 word review: Missed opportunity. Could have been so much better. Awful controls.

Behold the worst control scheme in the world, and despair. This is how to ruin a game

You will like this if you enjoy: Having your gaming nostalgia upset by a rather poor attempt to port a 20 year-old Dizzy game to a touch screen device.

I'd be lion if I said this was fun

The good news: The graphics have been updated but, twenty years on, this is hardly surprising. It’s probably the shortest Dizzy game, which is a good thing in this case.

C'mon Mr Reaper, finish him off and put me out of my misery

The bad news: The controls are truly awful. Essentially, there are 4 controls: left, right, jump and action. Codemasters have managed to translate those controls into 6 very poorly positioned on-screen buttons. There are now three jump buttons. Why? If having 3 jump buttons made games better, everyone would be doing it. They’re not, and there’s a very good reason for this – it’s stupid. For a platform game, the platform navigation (also know as jumping) is slow, tedious and clunky. Yeah, clunky. I can’t be bothered trying to come up with a more creative word to describe it. Puzzles … not great. Find boulder, go back, find pick-axe, remove boulder. That sort of thing. Oh, and the hint system is strange and pointless.

Arcadelife verdict: It should have been good, but it’s not. Once they provide proper controls as an option, instead of the sanity-defying mess of randomly scattered buttons, and tune up the responsiveness and Dizzy’s walking speed, then it’s going to be slightly better than a dated, mediocre game. Until then, I can’t recommend it. Dizzy fans in particular need to stay away, as the game creates that bizarre emotional mix where you’re willing yourself to enjoy a game while simultaneously despising the people who have wrecked your rose-tinted memories by releasing such a poorly considered port.

Another chance to marvel at one of the most baffling design decisions in gaming history

Arcadelife rating: 50/100

Version reviewed by Arcadelife is 1.02

Dizzy game website link

Arcadelife played and reviewed this game on:
4th gen iPod Touch (OS 5.0.1)