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This Could Hurt review (iOS / Universal)

May 10, 2012

“Do you really want to hurt me?”

10 word description: One-touch hazard avoiding speed-run. Consumable power-ups. Game Center.

10 word review: Deceptively simple; challenging game of timing with very pretty graphics.

You will like this if you enjoy: Playing a game that often feels like you’re watching someone else playing a better game. Ok, that possibly sounds a bit harsh; sorry about that.

The good news: The one-touch control, to make the character wait, is a virtually flawless control method for a touch screen device. Graphics and performance are very good. Audio is ok; music is forgettable but inoffensive. IAPs don’t appear to be necessary, as the in-game currency is easy to accumulate.

The bad news: Anyone expecting some kind of traditional platform game will be surprised and probably disappointed. The injury and death graphics and animations are tame to the point of being pointless; gore and dismemberment would make this game a lot more entertaining. Graphics are possibly too cute – my wife asked me if I was playing a game aimed at our son’s age group; he is four.

Arcadelife verdict: Well, I like it. I thought I’d get that out of the way first. It’s probably best not to dwell on what this game isn’t (a proper platform game with darkly amusing decapitations) and concentrate on why it’s a decent iOS game. It feels as though the game has been built around a simple, effective touch-screen control method and that’s a good thing. The pretty graphics, as they should be, are just decoration.

That’s not to say that the graphics don’t add a lot to the overall experience, because they do, they’re just a bit too cute and rather disappointingly nice when they could get away with being a lot more bloody. Come on, you can’t call a game “This Could Hurt” with spinning saw blades, spikes, huge mallets and piranha all over the place and then chicken out when it comes to the money shots!

This could hurt … but it won’t look like it

As I mentioned, at times it does feel like you’re watching someone else playing a better game. On the very first level, for example, with no player intervention at all, you can get 3 of the 4 level goals plus 19 acorns (in-game currency) in less than 20 seconds. I can’t recommend repeating that process over and over and over again to earn loads of acorns because that would be just a bit too sad. Try it when you’re watching TV, you’ll be rolling in acorns before you know it. No, really, please don’t.

Arcadelife rating

Visuals – 8.5/10
Audio – 7.5/10
Controls – 9/10
Content – 8.5/10
Fun – 7/10
Final rating – 80/100

Rating categories explained here.
Version reviewed by Arcadelife is 1.0
iTunes link

Chillingo / This Could Hurt website link

Arcadelife played and reviewed this game on:
4th gen iPod Touch (iOS 5.1)
iPad (iOS 5.1.1)
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